Super Bowl Media Day: The Questions I Wanted to Hear

Media Day at the Super Bowl is one of the most wildly entertaining days of the year, an incessantly frivolous affair that often features bizarre non-sequiters instead of serious questions. As we anticipate Super Bowl XLV between the Packers and Steelers, allow me to present a list of hard-hitting journalistic questions that I would have asked had I been in Arlington:



---"Mr. Polamalu, is it true that the movie "127 Hours" is a documentary about the length of time it takes to prepare your hair?"



---"Mr. Roethlisberger, what type of irresponsible, scandalous behavior do you have planned for this offseason?"



---"Be honest, Aaron Rodgers, on a scale of one to ten, how much do you hate Brett Favre?"



---"Hines Ward, you are a tremendous receiver, but why do you always look like you are about to cry when the cameras show you on the sideline?"

---"Coach McCarthy, how is your relationship with your daughter Jenny?"

---"Will it be tough focusing on the big game when there are so many hilarious commercials?"

---"Hey, Jerry Jones, will you consider adding another humongous jumbotron at Cowboys Stadium for the game on Sunday? After all, it is the Super Bowl."

---"The Packers players are here, but where the hell is Vince Lombardi?"

---"Seriously Mr. Polamalu, who would win a battle between your hair and Donald Trump's hair?"

---"Coaches Tomlin and McCarthy, have you considered filming videos of your wives' feet, a la Rex Ryan?"

---"Could any of you players beat Ed Hochuli in an arm-wrestling match?"

Musings on Steelers-Packers

In the words of the great San Francisco Chronicle sports columnist Scott Ostler, here are my deep thoughts, cheap shots, and bon mots:

---And then there were two. Super Bowl XLV is set, and it will be a duel of two of football's most popular, most storied franchises. The Pittsburgh Steelers and Green Bay Packers will battle for the Vince Lombardi trophy.

---Granted, I was rooting hard for the New York Jets yesterday. However, there is no denying the fact that Steelers-Packers is an electrifying matchup. It will be a great game, and a matchup of two elite quarterbacks.

---Aaron Rodgers may not have had his best performance in the NFC Championship Game against the Bears, but he is a stellar QB who has given the Packers a chance to become the first 6-seed in NFL history to win the Super Bowl. Ever since his days at Cal, Rodgers has been a consistent, unflappable presence behind center. Furthermore, Rodgers ranks amongst the most likeable players in football. I will be rooting for him to succeed in Super Bowl XLV.

---Sadly, I can't say that I will be rooting for Rodgers' Super Bowl counterpart, Ben Roethlisberger, to succeed. After all, Roethlisberger's cringe-inducing offseason behavior has turned him into an immensely unlikeable figure. Nonetheless, Big Ben is a tremendous quarterback who is vying for his third Super Bowl championship. If Roethliberger continues to perform at such a high level, he has an excellent chance of surpassing Terry Bradshaw as the greatest QB in Steelers history.

---However, while Rodgers and Roethlisberger headline two exciting offenses, one should not neglect the prowess of both defenses. Dom Capers' Green Bay D won the game for the Packers yesterday, buoyed by a wildly entertaining pick-6 from B.J. Raji. Meanwhile in Pittsburgh, Dick LaBeau's defense features the dominant forces of Troy Polamalu and Ike Taylor.

---Speaking of Polamalu, there was a fascinating stat from Sunday's Steelers-Jets game. Polamalu's hair had three interceptions.

---Super Bowl XLV also features two of the game's most outstanding, criminally underrated coaches in Mike Tomlin and Mike McCarthy. Tomlin and McCarthy are not alike in terms of personality-----Tomlin is fiery and energetic compared to the more subdued McCarthy-----but both men are masters of their craft who deserve far more credit than they receive.

---The Green Bay Packers are in the Super Bowl. Take that, Brett (Sorry, I couldn't resist).

---Memo to the NFL: Take away the damn Bye Week!!!! Everybody is brimming with excitement for Steelers-Packers, so why make them wait two weeks before the game is played?

---What is the over-under on how many punts will hit the enormous Cowboys Stadium jumbotron in Super Bowl XLV? This is surely to be one of the most popular bets in Vegas.

---And lastly, if I'm Jay Cutler, I'm watching the Super Bowl somewhere other than Chicago.