Speak English or Face Suspension. Shame on the LPGA.

Seriously? Did the LPGA really just create this silly rule?

That is exactly what went through my mind as I read about the new rule in the LPGA, a rule that requires all golfers to speak competently in English. Golfers who are not able to match these English-speaking standards may risk suspension. Let me see how many words I can think of to describe this new policy:

Idiotic. Moronic. Condescending. Hypocritical. Selfish. Baffling. Foolish. Inane. Ridiculous. Bizarre. Crazy. Witless. Mad. Asinine. Unintelligent. And flat-out stupid.

Phew! It sure feels good to release all that anger. Now after swallowing a chill pill, I am at peace, ready to calmly pick apart this decision by the LPGA. First of all, if we are forcing the international players to learn our language, they have every right to force us to learn theirs. It is time for us to realize that most foreign citizens are bilingual, if not multilingual. Most Americans, however, are only fluent in English. Therefore, it's our duty to attempt to learn other languages. Encouraging players to learn English is fine. Forcing them is a different story. Wake up LPGA, and say hello to the twenty-first century. Not every LPGA golfer hails from the land of the free and the home of the brave. In fact, there are 121 international players in the LPGA. Sports exist as a way to bring people together, no matter your cultural background.

LPGA player Christina Kim, a Korean American, is quoted in the San Francisco Chronicle as saying that ninety-nine percent of the players support this rule. I find that incredibly hard to believe. The LPGA is acting like learning a language is a piece of cake. They think the game will benefit from all players speaking English. In a game with so much international appeal, you would think the LPGA would have been more intelligent. After all, this LPGA decision makes Michelle Wie look like a brilliant decision-maker, and that is not easy to do.

*UPDATE* (9/6/08): The LPGA has now backed off and they will no longer suspend players who don't speak adequate English. Thank you, LPGA. You finally got your brain back.