Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Awards that should have been handed out at the ESPY's.


The ESPY Awards are always fun, but I have some awards of my own I'd like to hand out.


The "Athlete who talks trash even when he underperforms" award goes to..............Damon Jones

The "Oh My, you'll put an eye out with your golf swing!" award goes to.........Charles Barkley

The "You'll never make soccer relevant in this country" award goes to............David Beckham

The "Stop Breaking Chairs!" award goes to...............Bobby Knight

The "Golfer whose clothes speak louder than his game" award goes to.........Ian Poulter

The "Please don't throw a tantrum" award goes to..............................Milton Bradley

The "Wash your mouth out with soap" award goes to...........................Ozzie Guillen

The "We know you are going to choke that 3-stroke lead away" award goes to..............Phil Mickelson

The "Most stagnant fan base" award goes to................................The Florida Marlins

The "I'm retiring, No, I want to play again, No, I'm retiring, but I want to come back" award goes to..........Goes without saying, doesn't it?

The "What did we do wrong to lose our team award?" goes to..................................Seattle Sonics fans

The "Most criminally overlooked conference" award goes to........................The Pac-10

The "What the hell is he talking about?" award goes to.....................John Madden

The "Athlete whose two favorite songs are "Like a Virgin" and "Material Girl" award goes to.............Goes without saying, doesn't it?

The "Most camera-friendly coach" award goes to...................Bill Bellichick

The "Cleveland is okay, but New York is awesome!!!!!!" award goes to...........LeBron James

The "My hair never moves" award goes to.............Pat Riley

The "That was a fun way to rush my way through a sports column" award goes to..........Yours Truly

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